Nice is nice

Nice boats.

Let's take a quiz: Why do you want to go to France?

1. Drink all the wine? 
2. Take in some culture?
3. Go swimming in the Mediterranean? 

In Nice, you can do all of those things. Well, not so much the culture part. But you go there anyway! Since 4 million tourists visit each year, statistics indicate that you probably already have. 

Azure Coast? More like the Gris Coast.

On the Auzure Coast, Nice is Cannes' and Monaco's less glamorous neighbor. If you are looking for gorgeous old buildings and quintessential French feel, there are a few things to see in the old town. (It is a very old town--people have been living in Nice since the Lower Palaeolithic age!) But most of your wandering is going to be looking at the ocean of hotels and what appears to be a less than fully vibrant economy off tourist season.

But let's face it. You're not here for the buildings. You're here to drink wine and go swimming.

Or, in the shoulder season, stick to reading on the beach.

In Nice, you'll find a large expanse of beach with many many pebbles. Fortunately for your feet, the sea smooths all stones.

They put Brighton's Fruity Pebbles to shame!

The Mediterranean is warm late into the season when eastern Europe is frigid. I did successfully manage to go swimming in the middle of October, and I do not tolerate cold. But stand warned: the Mediterranean is very, very salty.

If you look back you will turn into a pillar of salt.

I feel sure it would look vibrant on a sunny day. You could admire the boats!

Boats! Located, predicatably, in water.

And you can climb Castle Hill to see some archaeological nonsense, and see some fine views of the port and city.

Admire the complete homogeneity of the government mandated color of rooftops in the city:

Except for that one rebel yellow.

So drop by Nice, it's a fine place to spend a beach day if you are heading east or west. Because pro-tip: it takes a lot longer to get from Florence to Barcelona than you plan for.

Calais on a Monday: Not Quite Hopping.

Town hall: like walking by a postcard.

In Bruges? Tired of Bruges? You might decide to take a roadtrip to Paris. 

It happens. And if you are heading to Paris, you might think it's a good idea to stop in Calais. A grand plan!

Just, you know, stop for a hot minute and remember that the days of the week do have an impact on what you can do. Are you stopping in Calais on a Monday? Yes? Oh, good! You didn't want anything to be open, right? 

Of course not! Because it won't be. 

Possibly open. But they wouldn't tell me in English.

Hotwheels and I went all over the town, looking for anything fun to do. All we found were closed doors, closed restaurants, and open flowers. 

Ok, they were pretty flowers.

So we decided to look at everything the city had to offer. And we found some super cheap amazing wine. And so we bought lots of super cheap amazing wine and planned to picnic on the beach. (This sort of activity is a good idea any day of the week!)

There were statues.

Suspiciously tilted...

For another prominent building, you can also go see Eglise Notre-Dame. On the scale of Notre-Dames, this is not the most impressive Notre-Dame in France. If you have to pick one, I'd probably recommend the one in Paris. It's, you know, a little fancier.

Not so much flying buttresses.

And for an unexpected find in Calais: a plaque dedicated to my neighbor and close personal friend, Thomas Jefferson.

Hey homeboy.

The beach is quite nice, and proved an excellent picnic location. None of that pebbly nonsense you find in Nice. It's real sand. The kind your toes dream of burying into.

Beach: contains sunsets. 

We did eventually find the one restaurant that was open in the town. It did not disappoint. Raw oysters. Fish. Wine. Perfect. 

Swan heard Mumbles, but what did the Swansea?

Wales Part III:

Good God! Are we still in Wales? You are so behind on your blog! At least get to Scotland before you leave Ireland! Sheesh.

Ahem.

As I was saying, I was instructed by those in the know that the cities are not the reasons to go to Wales. That the natural beauty and sea cliffs are where it's at. Thanks to those in the know, I definitely had to check out Swansea.

Not pictured or present anywhere: swans.

It was decided that a boat tour was necessary. I learned quite a lot about the coal history of the region. I think. Maybe learning was the wrong word. It was a whole lot more industrial than I ever dreamed. And they have bubblers in the river so the fish won't die. JUST LIKE THE POND AT HOME.

Irrelevant: ducklings.

And that was cool. But I had wanted to see some things in Swansea, like, I don't know, any of their museums. Bad luck for me: the entire city was under construction, so all the museums were closed.

Good luck for me: the Mumbles are just a short bus ride away! And they had a castle!

When choosing a preservative, remember:
salt > direct assault by an army.

The castle was nice and quiet but for the sound of pigeons cooing. They also had a great view of the other Mumbly bits:

Pier also closed for construction.

Fortuitously, neither ocean nor rocks were closed for construction!

Scale note: It's a lighthouse, not a milk bottle.

There were also some more rocks and ocean bits:

Why is the sky more washed out than shore?

And you could walk on rocky bits:

It was pretty. 

That's obviously too many pictures of ocean and rocks. Here's a famous Swansean boat:

You have to wonder just what the quote marks are implying.

Overall, Mumbles was a wonderful harmonious area. It was quiet, as mumbling is mandated by law. I even saw some nature running around, coexisting in peace.

Bunnies. I was reminded not to trust them in a future episode.

It was a really great place to wander around and appreciate the nature things. It also answered a question that has plagued me for years: 

What would Red XIII look like as a boat? 

Answer: Pretty Badass.

Did I mention there were rocks and water?

Note: picture contains rocks and water.

It's great in person. Trust me.

Brighton: Royal Pavilion, Beach, and Tiny Shops

Inexplicably, I found no daleks anywhere.

A thousand pardons; Wifi has been iffy in a few places recently, and I'm behind on life. Catchup time--Brighton! When I first got off the train, I walked past a BBC window and noticed this guy, Davros, watching the street:

But that's neither here nor there. People don't come to Brighton looking for aliens, they come for bachelorette parties, or "hen-dos." See, Bath used to be relaxation/party central, but a while back, starting about with Henry IV, Brighton usurped Bath as the tiny vice city vacation town of England. With Henry IV royal pavilion to oggle, the historical sea-bathing escape of Austen novels/that time period, Brighton continues to be a thriving beach community, with a massive LGBT population. In the city center, it's kind of like San Francisco or Asheville, but more posh. If you stay out closer to the beach, it gets a lot more like the Outer Banks.

Pause city talk. Let's talk about the palace, by which I mean The Royal Pavilion:

Henry IV's private pleasure palace; a postcolonial pastiche,

If you like decorative arts, you have to go inside of the castle. You can't take pictures inside, which makes it a horrible stop for a blog, but you owe it to yourself to look at the 16-foot chandeliers suspended from dragons.

The Pavilion was constructed to boost his ego shortly after the loss of the American colonies. Thus, to proclaim that England was still a rich colonial power, the place is infused with styles from India, as a reminder that they still had it going on, internationally speaking.  Meanwhile, the interior is a totally not-matching style mimicking China. The style is called "chinoiserie," because we need a French word for that.

Henry built this palace to chill out with his various long term committed mistresses. Evidently he didn't value any mistress's ability to take photos of the place; it's impossible to get a good angle anywhere.

You can't see the palace for the bushes.

Here is a photo of a postcard of the inside, which should give you an idea that there is more colour and life inside. It's overwhelmingly garish/beautiful/excessive.

This is the smaller chandelier without dragons.
On the bright side, it looks like it's on fire.

But let's backtrack. When you first get off the train from London, you can wind through the Lanes, which will transport you to what London must have looked like 200 years ago. While you have the option of sticking to the main street, you can also turn down narrow twisty alleyways to find Starbucks. Follow signs, since you will get lost, and wander into North Laine, which is a massive collection of independent shops. Among them, an Indian-Goth fusion store, and some other things that made less sense and were even more expensive.

Pedestrian mall: possibly only here because there is now way cars are fitting.

See, as evidenced by the tiny winding lanes and old buildings, they don't really build new things in Brighton. The emphasis on preservation makes it a good counterpoint to London, which, as I mentioned, is a blend of very old and rocketships.

A random backyard(?) Why not have it in the middle of shops!

Unfotunately, you can't get a good picture to demonstrate narrow winding streets when you are inside of them. Something about angles and visual blockades.

The streets: they were narrow. 

And when you get tired of shopping, you can go to the beach! And enjoy the nice weather!

Beautiful weather! Water is the opposite of warm! Beach! All without sand in sight!

By any definition of good, this is a beach. It's legitimately a nice place to sit by the sea and let the sea breezes cool you on a hot day (and this was taken in perfect beach weather). There's the pier with all the pier stuff, if you're into that sort of thing. Unfortunately, the above pic was taken while passing through. I was busy that day with all the tours and shops and things. I would leave the full day of beach enjoyment until tomorrow!

This was tomorrow.

On the whole, I like my beaches warmer. It was a nice place to walk around, if you wanted to wear a jacket and shoes and pants and then leave anyway because the wind was too cold.

Brighton: by all accounts a great place to live. But if you want to rent, you'd better have six months rent to pony up front. Not everyone does. Consequently, you will meet a lot of local residents in the hostels. Unless they get tired of having the same conversation, they are friendly and can give you good insight into viewing the city as a local. 

If you go hosteling in Brighton, stay at Kipps. Avoid the Smart Sea View, because it isn't.