Eats, shoots, and leaves

True grit: cowboys have it embedded in the seams of their faces.

The cowboys had it right. They were free agents with nothing more to weigh them down than a gun and a (possibly stolen) horse. They weren't burdened with consumerist culture and the accumulations of years of acquisitive tendencies. None of this schizoid postmodern existence. Just the sun on their faces, potentially fatal dehydration, bullets every which way, and the quiet of nature.

Ignoring the deconstructive readings that problematize the lone gunman fantasy with criticisms of the marginalized and mistreated Native Americans, gender politics, general race relations, and the fallout of shootouts and casual mayhem -- the cowboys had it right.

It would be great to go west, where there are no rules. To discover the great untamed land. Walk out of the society that would rather have them working in a store for an honest living. It's an escapist fantasy for people droning in jobs they hate. I can relate. It's all Man vs. Society. Man eats, shoots, and leaves. 

But generations swing like pendulums. Once the tv channels were full of cowboys. Now they're full of cop shows, which tend towards the other side of law and order. But as long as cynicism and darkness are in (see the popularity of the super successful Batman reboot, the popularity of Dexter) the outsiders can do their thing, just in different clothes. Cowboys can't come back in a big way; too many cheesy shows and movies have come and gone.

After all, the wild west is gone. But unexplored territory isn't. 

Now it's time for the wild web?

The Trouble with Covers

I just saw an advertisement for this new movie, Fright Night. It looks less than fully compelling, but I am gladdened any time I see a trailer in which the Vampire is not a glittered-down version of his former glory. And the trailer does have a cute line about ways to get around a lack of an invitation into a home.

But my gripe with the film is not that the trailer is lacking non-screaming females. It is not that I am never very excited about remakes that were great the first time (I haven't seen it, but Prince Humperdinck plays the vampire, so it's gotta be good.)

No, my gripe of the day is the movie poster.
It's kind of cool. The lettering is cute and looks like vampire fangs. The red eyes are a nice calm color. I have no idea who's holding the axe. (Tangent: Because it's a guy in a checkered shirt holding a tool reminiscent of a shovel, it is giving me flashbacks to this excellent Cracked video.)

Anyway, as I stared at this cover, I was struck a certain way by the gaze, the fadeout, the color gradation, and the low light source. I began to feel that the film must be worthy of four Oscars. That it must be gritty, convoluted, sad, psychopathic, greed-filled, all with a southwestern flavor.

But Fright Night is not No Country for Old Men. The blurb, the trailer, and the actors involved all suggest a wildly different tone. Violence is the sole connection. And Fright looks cartoonized. Why then make the decision to channel No Country for Old Men? Fright Night may be no country for nosy teenagers, or no country for vampires, but the Fright cover mainly makes me want to watch something Coen brothers. Success in advertising? I think not. The only perk I see is cranky people like me writing cranky blog posts and increasing word of mouth.

Lan: A Face all Planes and Angles

Every once in a while, an author makes a seemingly conscious decision to use piss-poor language to describe a central character. Occasionally the description is evocative enough that the author decides it is all that is needed, and he may even use it more than once. However, poor language can become a crutch. This should be avoided.

This brings us to Rule 39: Do not beat the reader over the head with descriptions that say next to nothing.

Rule 39 is prominently violated by the dearly departed fantasy author, Robert Jordan, in his 13 book epic Wheel of Time series. The following is a collection of descriptions of character Lan Mandragoran, drawn from multiple books throughout the series. Citations compliments of Google books.

From the Wheel of Time series:

• The Eye of the World (book 1):

“That face was made from stony planes and angles, weathered but unlined despite the gray in his hair” (46).

• The Great Hunt (book 2):

“A narrow band of braided leather held the Warder's long hair back from his face, a face that seemed made from stony planes and angles, a face unlined as if to belie the tinge of gray at his temples” (2)

• The Dragon Reborn (book 3):

“The flames cast flickering shadows across the Warder's face, making it seem more carved from stone even than it normally did, all hard planes and angles” (27).

• The Shadow Rising (book 4):

“A braided leather cord held Lan's dark hair, gray-streaked at the temples. His face looked to have been carved from rock, all hard planes and angles, and his sword rode his hip like part of his body” (92).

• The Fires of Heaven (book 5):

“Which was to say as still and calm as his face, all stony planes and angles in the moonlight, and with an air of being on the brink of sudden movement that made the Aiel appear placid in comparison” (165).

• A Crown of Swords (book 7):

“Brilliant blue eyes regarded her intently from beneath lowered brows, in a face all planes and angles that might have been carved from stone” (237).

• And from the Eye of the World series, From the Two Rivers:

“That face was made from stony planes and angles, weathered but unlined despite the gray in his hair” (30).

Taken individually or together, these descriptions lead to only one possible mental image:

A stony face all planes and angles.

This is a composite sketch from the many descriptions of the character. What could Lan be, but a face all planes and angles? Twin-tailed plane for lips? A plane for a nose? Biplanes for eyes, perhaps? As for the angles, his description does not reveal the true degree measurements, so the true angles are unknown. There is a gray tinge in his hair, and his face is kind of like stone. The character, as described, may have difficulty passing through society without notice.

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