Fluffy Dresses vs. Moth Wings

Last time I walked around Barnes and Noble, the cover of every YA chic book had a character in a full ball gown. In many of the getups I saw, it would be awfully hard to break into a jog, let alone a sprint. I prefer my protagonists to take the novel sensibly attired in something that allows mobility. Then they can face the conflicts of the novel at a sprint, or at least a jog. And they can sneak. Every try to move stealthily in a full ball gown? They rustle. A lot. 

Of course, back in the day, I was guilty of drawing all sorts of equally useful fashion designs. These, and especially the central figure, introduce a whole new set of pitfalls in high fashion.

Clearly, I should have my own fashion line.

Forget ballgowns - if people like me ruled the fashion world, everyone and their dog would go around wearing things as useful as an enormous pair of Luna Moth wings. But! If giant moth wings became the fashion standard, it would have several obvious benefits to the economy:

• Doorways would need to be widened for everyday convenience. This would reemploy carpenters and construction workers everywhere and solve the housing crisis. Just think of the industry! Statistics suggest that 99% of houses have doors.
• We would have more manufacturing and tech jobs to allow a fully electrical wardrobe. This would be necessary to give the wearer full control of flapping and potential gliding. 
• A powered wardrobe would necessitate more efficient portable power. This would lead to more efficient solar panels, with perks like ultraconvenient cell phone chargers in your shirt. What could be better?

This is not much better either.
At least she can move her legs.

Better, dare I say, may be something lighter, perhaps with your legs free. I distrust any book with really bulky dresses on the cover. It says to me that the character will be able to leisurely glide through all the problems of the novel. And that's not what I want in a story. You have to find the right outfit for the pace. Whatever she wears on the cover, I picture as she jumps over every obstacle, through every hoop. (Can she even fit through a hoop in those dresses?)


Rule of Hoops: If wearing a hoopskirt doesn't hamper your protagonist, you may need to pick up the pace of the narrative. 

Disambiguation: Why True Blood is Better than Twilight

Twilight is weirdly popular, but the sparkling offends a lot of vampire fans. True Blood is full of sex and violence, but the vampires scare off some potential viewers because they are getting the show confused with Twilight. 

A disambiguation is necessary. 

How they are alike: 

• Vampires. Sorta.
• Prominant love triangle between two supernatural beings and one mostly human main character.
• There is a character who is in love partly because they cannot hear the thoughts of the object of affection. In the case of Bella, they may just be lacking.

What makes Twilight (almost) fun to watch: 

• It is unintentionally hilarious. Mostly due to Pattinson's faces. 
• It really brings the text to life. I avidly devoured the Twilight books through the Reasoning with Vampires blog. 
• Shirts are against werewolf law.
• A beautifully awkward scene in which Edward rejects Bella, modestly buttons up his shirt, and insists on abstinence until marriage. 
• The Cullens possess the vampire superpowers that allow them to pose for half the movie.
• Watching these reminds you how much better True Blood is. 

What makes True Blood fun to watch: 

• Vampires retain a sense of ferocity, and they do horrifying and immoral things from time to time, as vampires ought to do. You can't be sure that they won't flip out and drain a character.
• There is a discussion of the socio-cultural implications of vampires. 
• In this love triangle, Eric and Bill have a whole lot more chemistry and interpersonal feelings than Edward/Jacob. 
• Sookie has some sass and mopes less than Bella. Downside: her name is Sookie.
• The series is focused on the town, which gives it a much richer cast and story tapestry, whereas Twilight is a claustrophobic teen romance with some random Foreign interlopers. 
• True Blood is Intentionally Hilarious, and incorporates more witticism.

What could be better for both: 

• They both suffer from overpowered male characters in love with a less interesting girl. 
• Vampires are one thing, but these both use the PR technique of throwing in everything paranormal but the kitchen sink, which multiplies the difficulty of suspension of disbelief. 
• Overall paucity of badass female characters.